What I Picked Up Today

Since buying our house in Asheville 5 years ago, I've been picking up litter along our road about once a month. Although the amount of trash along this 3 block stretch that winds down to the French Broad River Park has diminished substantially in that time, it just never seems to go away completely.

Our neighborhood is generally pretty quiet. However, Riverview is unfortunately a "cut through" road between the heavily commercial areas of Biltmore Village and Haywood Road in West Asheville. Therefore, particularly on weekend nights, we get a host of yokels and teenage wannabees driving up and down Riverview who, having just paid a visit to one of the many drive through windows or gas stations along the Biltmore Ave/Hendersonville Road corridor, decide to make our road the place to deposit their waste.

Thanks to fine folks who, each morning, drive to suburban office parks and spend their days in cubicles mining data and doing advanced, targeted market research for their corporate overseers, it's not too difficult to create a "profile" of the typical litterer, based of course on all the shit I pick up each month. So, what follows is an analysis of one month's Riverview Dr. trash, picked up on July 22nd and broken down by category, followed by composite "sketch" of the offenders. It amounted to one completely filled 30 gallon garbage bag.

Alcohol: Pabst 4o oz. bottle (in paper bag), Schlitz Malt Liquor 40 oz. can (in paper bag), Natural Ice 40 oz. can, Miller 40 oz. can, Coors Light 12 oz. can, Budwiser 40 oz. can, and some shit called Tilt Malt Liquor in a 12 oz. can. (It should be noted that in all my years of picking up litter, I've never picked up a can or bottle of beer from a microbrewery. i.e. Highland, Sweetwater, etc.)
"Mike" age 34 from Leicester. A prolific litterer from his Chevy truck despite having only one arm.

Soft Drinks: Sierra Mist 20 oz. bottle, Mountain Dew 12 oz. can, Faygo Pineapple Orange 20 oz. bottle, a gallon jug of sweet tea (a first!) three 12 oz. cans of Dr. Pepper, Gatorade 12 oz. bottle, two cans of Sprite, four cans of Pepsi, three large fountain cups of Pepsi, four fountain beverages from various fast food places.
"Ramon and Brian" aged 8 from Candler. As of yet, there is no direct correlation between fountain beverage consumption and childhood obesity.

Fast Food: various bags, wrappers, boxes, cups, and containers from the following franchises: McDonalds, Wendys, Bojangles, Zaxbys, Burger King, Sonic, and Krispy Kreme donuts.
"Donnell" age 18 from Asheville. An alternate on the Asheville High Debate team, he makes frequent trips down Riverview Dr. on his way to Biltomore Forest to read aloud to his Nana.

"Gas Station" items: Microwave dinner box (sesame chicken), one M + M's wrapper, Peanut Butter bars wrapper, two plastic cups (the kind you see at college parties), two generic fountain beverage cups (at least 64 oz.)

The items listed above amounted to about two-thirds of the garbage picked up that day. The remaining third could be only categorized as random shit. For example, things like paper plates, straws, a hubcap, pens, newspaper, plastic bags, etc.

They Heart NY

I recently came across these two PSA's urging New York City residents to keep their fair city litter free. Having such contrasting styles, it's fun to watch them side by side. The first was made by director, David Lynch. The second, from 1971, used longtime Yankee player and broadcaster, Bobby Murcer. (who passed away today)


FDE's fave David Lynch movies...Mulholland Dr. and The Straight Story, (so very non-Lynchian and hey, what can I say, I'm from Wisconsin)
FDE's fave David Lynch regular...Harry Dean Stanton
FDE's fave line from a Lynch movie...Lula (Laura Dern) to Sailor (Nick Cage) in Wild at Heart, "You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt."



Murcer, who hit .277 over his 17 year career, with 252 jacks, never really lived up to the hype that surrounded him upon his entry into the Yankee organization. He's probably best known for his moving eulogy at the funeral for teammate Thurman Munson. Just hours after the Munson funeral, Murcer was suited up for a game against the Orioles. With the Yankees down 4-0, Murcer hit a three run homer in the 7th and then delivered a two-run single in the 9th to give the Yanks the win. Murcer gave the bat from that game to the widow of Munson, to honor his former teammate.

Bobby Murcer's other Babe Ruth moment was known as the "Scott Crull" game. On August 8, 1977, Murcer promised to try and hit a home run and a double for terminally ill fan Scott Crull who he had spoken to by phone. That night, against the Pittsburgh Pirates, Murcer hit two home runs. Broadcasting the game nationally on ABC, Keith Jackson told the country how Murcer had fulfilled the dying boy’s last wish. However, no one had told the young man he was dying. Murcer, however, denied he made an outright promise to Crull, as ABC had reported during the game.

Scott's mother told the AP, "It's wonderful that he got to talk to one of the players, and by Murcer hitting the home runs...he was thrilled." The AP later reported comments from Kenneth Crull, the young boy's uncle said "Bobby Murcer did a wonderful thing for Scotty . . . it was the highlight of his whole life." Linda Crull, the boy's aunt added, "What Bobby Murcer did was great. But what happened afterward we'd just as soon forget about." ABC's Jackson had relayed the story that had been told to him by a Chicago Cub official Buck Peden and alerted the boy to his own medical condition. Three weeks later, On August 22, Crull died. Ten hours later the Cubs beat the Giants 3-2 at Wrigley Field and Murcer hit his 24th home run. At that point the Cubs' record was 70-53, and they were 7-1/2 games out, in 2nd place. The Cubs slumped and finished at .500 with and 81-81 record. The homer in the "Scott Crull" game was one of 5 game-winning home runs Murcer had in 1977.

Get Out of the Car and Grab a Bag

If you drive on I26, in and around Asheville, NC, with any frequency, you've probably noticed the inmate crews along the side of the highway filling the bright orange bags with all the shit people are too lazy to dispose of themselves. As much as I hate the assholes who, for some reason, can't wait until they get home to dispose of a Big Mac wrapper or a can of soda, having cons work the roadsides seems to me to be a more charitable gift back to society than say, taking in the day's Bold and the Beautiful episode back in the joint.


Frequently motoring past scenes like the one pictured above, however, got me thinking... there's a problem here. Sure, there's the trooper or DOC guy standing guard over the chain gang, gun in one hand. But why isn't there a garbage bag in the other? With the problem of roadside debris seemingly only getting worse, couldn't we make better use of our various uniformed, otherwise idle, lawmen? Everyday I see two or three squad cars parked along Haywood Road in West Asheville, garbage strewn about around them. What about walking the beat, bag in hand? My guess is, if Mr. John Law had to pick up trash, we'd see a whole lot less flying out of car windows.

The Wire: Baltimore, Trash, and Natural Police

At the moment, I am completely absorbed in David Simon's HBO drama, The Wire. Having just finished the first season, it no doubt ranks as some of the best television I've ever seen. Simon takes us deep into Body-more, Murdaland, far beyond Camden Yards and the city's famed crab houses. In Season One, Mc Nulty, Daniels, Greggs, Freamon, and the rest of the mismatched BPD crew work the drug-ridden West Baltimore low rises, hoping to get some shit on the seemingly untouchable kingpin, Avon Barksdale.

Having lived in Baltimore for four years, I have an added interest in the show, especially in its depiction of the city I once called home. I can attest to the fact that, despite Baltimore's many charms, it is a filthy sewer. For Simon, part of the narrative comes out of this portrayal of his city. The Wire frames its shots carefully. In the foreground, while we see block after block of boarded up row houses, overgrown vacant lots filled with old furniture, and garbage strewn about everywhere; there, in that same shot, is the gleaming skyline and Inner Harbor beyond. Such contrasting worlds, just a mile or so apart. Simon heightens the level of frustration we feel for these overwhelmed cops with scenes of detectives searching, post- crime, for any scrap of evidence amidst a decaying, urban war zone. As the camera pans the ground in front of Bunk and McNulty on some vacant lot, viewers ask themselves, "How in the hell do they find anything in that shithole?"

A little later in the season, however, Simon cleverly alters our view of the littered streets. After Greggs "takes two for the company" in an undercover bust gone bad, the crew sets out looking for the shooters. Freamon and Prez use the wire to track a call put in to "Stringer" Bell (the brains behind the Barksdale empire) from a pay phone in northwest 20 minutes or so after the shooting. The prints on the phone are no good, but there, in the street near the phone, is a crumpled can of orange Slice (the same can we saw "Little Man," a Barksdale underling, thoughtlessly toss to the ground after calling Bell in a previous scene). It's bagged and dusted, and the search is on for Greggs' shooter.

Simon forces viewers of the Wire to attend to the details. The act of littering, so common a deed in the projects that we shouldn't even notice it, becomes a key event later in the episode. And who thinks to inspect a can laying in the street? Freamon, of course, he's 'natural police'.