What I Picked Up Today

Since buying our house in Asheville 5 years ago, I've been picking up litter along our road about once a month. Although the amount of trash along this 3 block stretch that winds down to the French Broad River Park has diminished substantially in that time, it just never seems to go away completely.

Our neighborhood is generally pretty quiet. However, Riverview is unfortunately a "cut through" road between the heavily commercial areas of Biltmore Village and Haywood Road in West Asheville. Therefore, particularly on weekend nights, we get a host of yokels and teenage wannabees driving up and down Riverview who, having just paid a visit to one of the many drive through windows or gas stations along the Biltmore Ave/Hendersonville Road corridor, decide to make our road the place to deposit their waste.

Thanks to fine folks who, each morning, drive to suburban office parks and spend their days in cubicles mining data and doing advanced, targeted market research for their corporate overseers, it's not too difficult to create a "profile" of the typical litterer, based of course on all the shit I pick up each month. So, what follows is an analysis of one month's Riverview Dr. trash, picked up on July 22nd and broken down by category, followed by composite "sketch" of the offenders. It amounted to one completely filled 30 gallon garbage bag.

Alcohol: Pabst 4o oz. bottle (in paper bag), Schlitz Malt Liquor 40 oz. can (in paper bag), Natural Ice 40 oz. can, Miller 40 oz. can, Coors Light 12 oz. can, Budwiser 40 oz. can, and some shit called Tilt Malt Liquor in a 12 oz. can. (It should be noted that in all my years of picking up litter, I've never picked up a can or bottle of beer from a microbrewery. i.e. Highland, Sweetwater, etc.)
"Mike" age 34 from Leicester. A prolific litterer from his Chevy truck despite having only one arm.

Soft Drinks: Sierra Mist 20 oz. bottle, Mountain Dew 12 oz. can, Faygo Pineapple Orange 20 oz. bottle, a gallon jug of sweet tea (a first!) three 12 oz. cans of Dr. Pepper, Gatorade 12 oz. bottle, two cans of Sprite, four cans of Pepsi, three large fountain cups of Pepsi, four fountain beverages from various fast food places.
"Ramon and Brian" aged 8 from Candler. As of yet, there is no direct correlation between fountain beverage consumption and childhood obesity.

Fast Food: various bags, wrappers, boxes, cups, and containers from the following franchises: McDonalds, Wendys, Bojangles, Zaxbys, Burger King, Sonic, and Krispy Kreme donuts.
"Donnell" age 18 from Asheville. An alternate on the Asheville High Debate team, he makes frequent trips down Riverview Dr. on his way to Biltomore Forest to read aloud to his Nana.

"Gas Station" items: Microwave dinner box (sesame chicken), one M + M's wrapper, Peanut Butter bars wrapper, two plastic cups (the kind you see at college parties), two generic fountain beverage cups (at least 64 oz.)

The items listed above amounted to about two-thirds of the garbage picked up that day. The remaining third could be only categorized as random shit. For example, things like paper plates, straws, a hubcap, pens, newspaper, plastic bags, etc.